Insanity at the DMV

Today's blog is directed at what happens to you when you leave one country for an extended period of time and then return and attempt to get a driver's license.  A little background:  The DMV sucks.  It is a swarming mad-house of boredom, frustration, and loathing.  All I needed was a NV driver's license so that I could do basic stuff, like open a bank account, buy a car, get insurance...
I waited my obligatory 2 hours (yes, I did say two hours) and when at last my name was called (I imagine something similar to hearing your name called on the day of judgement....) I was informed that after waiting 2 hours, I would need to take a written test and a driving test before I could apply for my license.  Mother of all that is unholy!!!!  Did my ears deceive me?  I looked at the woman with what must have been a look of complete shock because she smiled and leaned closer and said more slowly, "you...have...been...out...of...the...country...for...longer...than...four...years...AND...we...don't...accept...Canadian...driver's...licenses...you...will...have...to...go...line...up...over...there...and...take...your...written...test...if...you...pass...you...can...schedule...a...driving...test"
What am I?  16?  Have I never driven a car before?  What, in Canada we only drive dog sleds on ice packs and because only 20 people live in any one city I've never seen a pedestrian cross walk or a traffic light or a stop sign before?  "IF" I pass?  "IF" I pass?  Seriously?  I tried to tell her that I drove in Las Vegas for 10 years and that I've been driving for 25 years, but the iron curtain of indifference had been lowered between us and she simply smiled and pointed to the little room in the back where all the 16 year olds in their Miley Cyrus haircuts and Laker hats on sideways were taking their tests.  I hung my head and slowly made my way to the "room of shame".
I decided to take a study book home and take the test a few days later.  First, because I needed to let my fury subside, and second, I had a sneaking suspicion that I might not actually pass a written test.
And so, today, I showed up bright and early to take my written test (before all the children came and clogged the system).  The first thing the lady asked when I handed her my form was "has your license been suspended?  Is this a renewal test for a revoked license?"  I guess I deserved it.  I am 44 standing in line with 16 year olds to take a written test.  I'd probably assume the 44 year old got hammered and drove over a fire hydrant and somebody's back yard on the way home from the game at his buddy's house too.  I smiled.  "No, I've been away for a while."  Ha!  Let her think I just got out of prison. That'll scare her for a while.  Then again, maybe not.  She had more tattoos than I have (which is none fyi).
Stupid questions on the test.  Stupid questions on the test.  They wanted to know about rules for bicycle drivers.  I am not here to answer questions about bicycle drivers.  They wanted to know what to do in case of a snow storm.  In Vegas?  Seriously?
10 minutes later I was done.  Passed.  Victory.  In the words of 49er coach Jim Harbaugh after Sunday's win over the Packers "You played like a champion out there today.  That was some eye of the tiger stuff today."  Yes it was coach, yes it was.  I was a champion today at the DMV.
Next I will tell you about my driving test.  But that is a blog for another day.

Shopping by yourself

So here I am in Vegas (notice the standard Vegas image I pulled off the internet just for the one of you who has been living in a hole under a rock somewhere and has never seen the strip before).  I have yet to even go near the strip (this is pretty standard once you have lived here for a while - and I did live here for almost ten years).  So, while I am not doing the standard tourist "visit-the-strip-go-to-every-casino-the-first-night-ritual" thing, I was initiated into a new and different ritual last night...going to the grocery store and shopping alone, for yourself, not for an entire family, so therefore not getting anything in bulk.  This was strange.  I didn't like it.  I felt strange.  I didn't know what to buy, and what is worse (or better), I was acutely aware of what everything cost.  I don't want to use my Canadian credit card and I haven't been to the bank to get a debit card for my US account, so I'm stuck using cash for a few days and so there I am mentally adding up every item as I put it in my cart.  "Hmmmm, that hairspray costs 50 cents less than that one but it has 12 oz more..." or "I don't really need three tomatoes, I can probably get away with two for the rest of the week..."  I had this internal conversation running inside my head the entire time I was in the store.  Probably 20 times I put something in my cart thinking that the kids would love this, or the kids will need this for their lunches, only to realize a short while later (usually while in another isle) that they aren't here right now and I don't need to buy the super-size box of individually packaged snack sized potato chips.  I probably spent an hour aimlessly walking up and down the isles and finally left with about six items.  Jo would be proud.  No sugary drinks, no candy, no donuts.  Next up: getting a driver's license at the hell known as the DMV and then the purchase of a new vehicle.  Stay tuned.     

Welcome to Vegas

It is now official. I am living in Vegas and Jo and the kids are living in Sherwood Park, Alberta, Canada. It is sureal. It still feels like I'll see them tonight for a movie and supper...only I won't. I have my Nevada cell phone number and I made sure it has unlimited talk and text to Canada (and Mexico - bonus if I knew anybody who lived there). So I can text Jo whenever I want and we can talk on fb whenever we get the chance, but still, I am realizing today how difficult this year will be. I want to fly home and see them all tomorrow. It's going to be a long month or two until I get the chance to do that.

Vancouver

Three days in Vancouver, exploring this great city as a family before doing the final pack up, and beginning the actual process of moving. Vancouver is a beautiful city. The skyline at night is amazing and there are far too many things to do and places to see for anyone to fit them all into three days, as we tried to do. We were tourists. We rode the sea bus. We went to Lonsdale Quay. We went to the suspension bridge and walked the suspended walkway through the tree tops. We ate out. One night, Jo's brother and his wife and kids came into Van and met us for supper (thus the picture). I think one of the best parts of the entire trip was sitting around the table at breakfast eating together and telling stories and laughing. It would be safe to say that after we move to the US and get all the visa stuff sorted out, I could very easily visit Vancouver again on vacation. Spending time together as a family, without the stress of packing or moving, was important to us. We don't have a lot of time together to just hang out and enjoy each other's company now that the serious packing has started and I know Vancouver will be a memory that we hold with us over the next few months.

The beginning of the last things

Today is my last day in the office. This weekend is my last weekend at Kamloops Alliance Church. This weekend I will preach my last sermon at the church. On Sunday we are having our last bbq with our small group. On Monday we will go on our last official vacation together as a family before I leave. There are many more "lasts" that will come in this adventure and each will have its place and will be acknowledged and celebrated as it should be. I am looking forward to preaching this weekend. I'm looking forward to sharing food and drink with our friends. I'm looking forward to taking my family to Vancouver since we've never experienced that great city together. The great thing is that this isn't the last time we will see all of the people we have grown to love in our short time here. As a follower of Jesus I believe that even if we don't see each other in this life again, we will see each other in the next one. Until then, we always have twitter, facebook, email, text messages, skype.....

all the tiny details will strangle your heart

For someone who has moved as often as I have, you would think that by now I would understand all the small details that need to be taken care of when you move. Now, multiply that by 10 when you factor in that I am moving to the U.S. and Jo and the kid are moving to Edmonton until they get their visas. This means when we pack, we have to pack stuff that can stay in storage for up to a year, stuff that Jo and the kids will need over the next year in Edmonton, and then stuff that I will take with me to Vegas. You can't just throw it all in a box. When you move to the US you have to label and price every item in every box and have a manifest for it. So it feels like we are actually packing three different ways for this move: and yes, we are. Next, we have to be in Edmonton in time for the kids to get registered in school. This is extremely important since Branden and Skye are visually impaired and we need to know a lot about bus routes and class rooms and smart board technology before school starts. Next, we need to figure out how to physically move everything to Edmonton that Jo and the kids will need for this next year. They won't have access to the stuff in storage, so there will be a lot to move. Plus, I'll move stuff to Edmonton that I'll want in Vegas over the next year. Then, each time I fly up to Edmonton, I'll bring some of it back with me. Driving to Vegas isn't really an option since we have one car (which Jo and the kids need in Edmonton) and it is impossible to rent a car one-way into the US. Try it some time. You won't ever try it again. I'll buy a car in the US, but don't want to waste my time with my family by driving back and forth to Edmonton when I see them, when I could fly and save time (and probably money) and be able to spend more actual time with them. Wait, I'm not done yet. Now come all the details in filling out paperwork for the Visas. Form this and form that and form the other and each one is confusing and difficult to understand exactly what they are asking. It would seriously be quicker and easier to just go to the US and apply for asylum and say that we are afraid for our lives because if we return to Canada the winters will kill us.... This whole "bringing your wife of 21 years and your three children back to the United States because you are an American citizen with a good job will take you longer than someone from (insert foreign country of choice) who doesn't speak English, has not discernible trade or skill, but fears for his or her life" is ridiculous. I'm an American for crying out loud and I should be able to bring my family across the border with me without any problems. Oh, in the midst of all of this, I'm writing a sermon on the state of your heart. I think I need to check the state of my heart right about now :) All this stuff, all these details, all this frustration, will strangle your heart if you let it. There is anger over the immigration issue, there is guilt over being separated from my family, there is frustration over all the millions of details and things that need to get done - there are a million things that could come between my heart and Jo and my heart and God. Right now, I need to remind myself that God IS in the details, that He IS working in my life in this transition, and that this life isn't all there is. I'm reminded of Paul's words in Romans 12:12 "Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer." That is the only way I'm going to keep my heart safe.

1 month to go

I begin my new job on Sept 1. I have one month left with my family until the new journey begins. I know we should be packing and labeling and contacting moving companies and doing all those types of things, but last night I just wanted to watch a movie with my kids and they wanted to watch one with me too. So we watched King Arthur and afterwards sat around and debated how much of it might actually be accurate or at least more accurate than the legend. Afterwards Jo and I read the first chapter of Andy Stanley's book "Enemies of the Heart". We are going to read together over Skype once I am in Vegas. We still have no idea exactly how all of this will work or where I will live when I get down there. Jo and the kids will live with my folks in Edmonton and the kids will go to school there while they wait for their visas. I'm hoping to find a house sitting situation or perhaps someone who has an in-law suite they aren't using - somewhere I can live and save money to pay for the visa process. It is expensive. One more week of work. A few days of family vacation in Vancouver. Packing up the house. Moving the family to Edmonton. Driving to Vegas. That will be August.