The not-an-omelet omelet

I am not a terrible cook.

I am not a great cook.

I am somewhere in the middle to lower third.  

With some time and some help I can achieve great things...like moving up to the middle.

On occasion I have surprised my wife with a meal.

On occasion I have surprised myself with a meal.

But these are usually special occasions with preparation and recipes and time and luck and a glass of wine for strength

Now that I am down here on my own, I am learning what "real" cooking looks like.  You are hungry, its the end of the day, you are tired, you haven't had the entire day to peruse recipes, buy your ingredients, get them all ready, cook them perfectly and in order....

At least I don't have a grumpy hungry husband asking me every five seconds what I'm going to make him for supper.  (Sorry about that wife, I am learning the hard way that this does not inspire you to want to make food for me :)  I yell at myself now and it doesn't inspire me to want to make food for myself either.)

Which brings me to my not-an-omelet omelet.

The picture you are looking at is my second attempt at the omelet.  I could not take a picture of the first attempt out of pure shame.  It tasted fine, but it looked like dog food.  For those of you thinking this picture doesn't look any better...well...you should have seen the first attempt.

Things were going well on this second attempt: at first.  The mushrooms were fried, the onions were fried, the omelet egg mixture was in the frying pan, everything was working together splendidly.  I actually thought I could pull it off.  Not too much time, not too much work, just a nice quick easy dinner that would look and taste like an omelet.  

Then things went horribly wrong.  I don't know exactly how or why it started to fall apart.  Maybe the heat was too high, maybe it was too low.  Maybe I attempted to turn it too quickly.  It seemed a little wet on top still, but the bottom was certainly omletey (my word invention for the day).  So I attempted the flip.  I'm not sure you should actually attempt to flip and omelet.  BAAAAAAAD things happen. Part of it flipped.  Part of it didn't.  Part of it began to run down the flipper toward my hand.  Some of it dripped on the stove.  A mushroom leapt to safety.  Another followed.  An onion attempted to follow and was quickly devoured in the flame.  I retrieved both onions and returned them to their proper place in the omelet.  But by now it had been on the flame a little too long and the parts that had not flipped well were beginning to burn, or at least get really really dark.  O.K.  burn.

I figured it was now or never.  Everything that was in the omelet pan ended up on my plate.  Except the traitor onion.  It was still burning in the hellish flames of its own making.  It was then I realized that in my haste I had forgotten the cheese.  Well, who was going to notice that the cheese wasn't actually inside the omelet.  There really wasn't an "inside" to it anyway.  

So the tomatoes and cheese went on top.  I took a picture of it.  For posterity.  

It still tasted amazing.  

I will continue to work on it.  I will be triumphant.